A Couples Conference Teaching on Sexual Purity and the Right Place for Sexual Desire by Dr. David Bindan.
The Nature of Relationships
Relationships are meant to be fresh, alive, and spirit-led. Many are listening right now, and we are talking about the importance of relationships — not just any kind, but those that are relevant, purposeful, and inspiring.
Every believer must understand that God has a design for relationships. They are not random connections; they are meant to be beautiful and refreshing when led by the Spirit. This is true for both friendships and romantic relationships.
Millennials and the younger generation must approach marriage and dating with God’s wisdom, not merely copying the trends of the world. God and marriage go together — marriage is God’s idea. When we do it His way, we experience joy, peace, and purpose in the relationship.
“I Have Fire in My Bosom”
The Bible says in Hebrews 13:4: “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled.”
This fire — called sexual desire — has a rightful place for expression: the bedroom of marriage.
Sex is not dirty; it is God’s creation. But just like fire in a fireplace brings warmth and light, sex in the right place brings joy and intimacy. Outside of marriage, it becomes dangerous and destructive.
As a new creation in Christ, I know: I have fire in my bosom, but I will wait for the right time — marriage. I will not misuse this fire by expressing it outside the covenant God designed.
Premarital Sex: The Boundaries
No sex before marriage — this is not a suggestion; it is God’s command. It is for your safety, purity, and honor.
When you go for godly counsel, you will be told clearly: You can sleep peacefully knowing that no man or woman has touched you before marriage. That is God’s will — that you keep yourself pure.
The teaching is simple: before you marry, you should be whole, untouched, and ready to enter marriage with your purity intact. Premarital sex is like starting a fire outside the fireplace — it will burn the very house you hope to live in.
Why God Sets These Boundaries
God does not restrict sex to punish you. His boundaries are for protection.
Sex is a sacred bond between husband and wife. Outside marriage, it damages trust, creates guilt, and dishonors God. Just like you wouldn’t put fire in the middle of your living room floor, you shouldn’t ignite sexual intimacy outside of its proper place.
Once the fire of passion is lit outside of marriage, it becomes harder to control and often leads to compromise, heartbreak, and regret.
Building Healthy Love Before Marriage
A godly relationship is built on trust, respect, and patience — not lust.
- Spend time getting to know each other emotionally and spiritually.
- Avoid compromising situations that stir temptation.
- Involve godly mentors in your courtship journey.
- Focus on building friendship first.
True love protects. It waits for the right time. It seeks the other person’s long-term good, not just temporary pleasure. Rushing into sexual activity before marriage cheapens what God made sacred.
The Blessing of God’s Timing
When you keep sex for marriage, you experience it without guilt or fear. You enjoy the fire in your bosom without shame because it is in the right place — the marriage bed.
Marital intimacy becomes a celebration of trust, love, and covenant. God’s way always works: when you wait, your relationship is stronger, your trust deeper, and your joy fuller.
Final Word
The fire in your bosom is not a curse; it is a gift. But it must be contained in the covenant of marriage, where it will warm and bless rather than burn and destroy.
